Families Change Teen Guide to Separation & Divorce

You are here

Home » Anxiety

Anxiety is a strong, uncomfortable feeling of fear. It is a normal emotional response to danger or uncertainty.

All the uncertainty that comes with change can make you feel anxious. So you may feel anxious when your parents split up, because there may be so many unknowns — like what is going to happen, where you are going to live, how you will cope with all the changes, and so on.

You might also feel like you have to take sides, or choose between one parent and the other, which could make you feel anxious.

In addition, you might be worried about your relationships in the future. You might think that because your parents have separated or divorced, the same thing will happen to you. But you can learn from your parents' mistakes. What happens in your own relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

If the anxiety is lasting a long time, or it is getting in the way of your ability to do the things you normally do, get help.

Q & A

Q:
I'm feeling really upset and confused about my parents splitting up. Is this normal?
A:

It's natural — and entirely normal — to experience some intense emotions. You will feel better over time. There are lots of ways to help yourself feel better, and people who can help you if you need it.

Q:
Will I be able to spend time with both parents?
A:

In the vast majority of cases, children get to spend time with both parents. How much time you spend with each parent, and exactly how that will work, depends on your custody and access arrangements.

Q:
My parents are splitting up. Why?
A:

There are many reasons why parents decide to split up. And with each couple, there might be one main reason, or a whole pile of reasons.

Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take action. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!

Q:
I have so many questions. How much can I ask my parents?
A:

If there are things you need to know, ask. You have a right to ask questions about what is going to happen and why.